June 28, 2010
What do you do...
when everything seems to be going wrong? I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what's expected of me. My grandpa has cancer, and is unsaved. He doesn't have much longer I don't think. I really want to go home, but I don't think that is an option for me unless something drastic happens. I am not so sure about this whole trusting God thing anymore. Don't get me wrong I trust God completely (I think, well you know it's an everyday struggle) but I am not sure if I should keep going to school when I have no money to pay for it and I am already in over my head. I don't have a paying job and I honestly don't know what He wants me to do anymore.
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...when I feel like I can't keep my head above the water, I spend time talking {out loud} to God. Not a quiet closet prayer, but an outright conversation with Him. I find the more honest I am with Him about my struggles, the more the Spirit brings to mind passages of Scripture that apply and points out areas where I am lacking or unwilling to submit. I don't always walk away with a satisfying answer, such is my fleshly nature, but I am confident that in spending time with God I will understand the direction He desires for me to go. Beyond that, when we walk through deep valleys and dark places, the best advice I ever received is to keep walking and lean on everything you know to be true of God. He does not change, no matter the circumstances or trials of our life. These are opportunities for growth, for purification -- and our refiner knows the limits to which He can take us.
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